Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize