There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
