Pappa wants mamma naked
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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