did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
