Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
