Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
