My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Randomize