come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
