i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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