im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize