Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
