yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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