the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
