I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize