when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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