My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize