im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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