we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
