did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
