Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
