i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
