I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
