What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize