so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
