Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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