You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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