if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
