I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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