Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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