Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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