you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
