well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
