i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
