Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
