i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
