I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
