I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
