so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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