What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
