At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
