I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
