somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
