I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Randomize
