Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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