her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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