The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
