just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
What a dumb baby whore.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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