Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
