It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
