God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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