He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
