If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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