I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Do you remember whose house we're in?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
