first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
