We won't sleep together?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
