if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
