Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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