Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
