thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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