I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
