That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
