we have officially lost it.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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