sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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