so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
